The end is in sight...

...but it feels like an eternity.

The end of pregnancy is not easy on any woman, I believe.  My sister-in-law once said that they call it delivery not only because you deliver the baby, but because the mom is so ready to be delivered from being an uncomfortable pregnant momma.  More like, "Deliver me!"  I totally agree with that.

My skin is so raw.  Every night I scratch my skin until I bleed and I cannot help it.  People (my Max who has eczema and has heard this a million times, included) tell me, "Try not to scratch."  But I cannot explain the itch, people, and it really doesn't make it worse.  I posted about my PUPPP rash before, but there has been a new development in the past week.  PUPPP stinks, but it's more manageable than what began on Monday night.  Suddenly my legs, feet and hands felt like they were absolutely crawling (plus the PUPPP itch I am used to).  But this felt different and there is no visible rash.  It got much worse at night and on Thursday night had me in tears and asking for a blessing.  And, as I told the nurse when I called the doc's office the next day, "I'm no wimp."  I was waking up to scratch a couple of times a night for about 20-60 minutes at a time.

Well, Thursday morning I thought, "Maybe this is just a thing a lot of pregnant women deal with and I just don't know about it."  So I hopped on the internet to see if there was anything they or their doctors recommended they do to get some sleep and relief.  I found a lot of rash explanations and it turns out a LOT of women do deal with itchiness.  But most of it sounded different.  Until I read about a crazy itch that effects mostly the hands and feet, but can be all over, comes on later in the third trimester, and gets much worse at night.  "Hey, that sounds like this!"  Then I read about what causes it and that it can cause serious problems for the baby - including stillbirth.  It's due to a problem with the liver.  I called Ty at work and told him I shouldn't read about medical conditions on the internet and that I had just freaked myself out a little.  I explained what I'd read and he suggested I call the doctors in the family.  I decided I would.  I sent a text explaining my symptoms and was told by my brother-in-law that it was probably PUPPP related, but could be something more serious and to call my doctor.  I did.  I talked to the triage nurse who said she wouldn't see my doc until the morning and suggested he might want to check my billirubin levels.  That night was awful itch-wise, but brought the blessing and peace that I mentioned above.

The next morning I called back and talked to a different nurse who did finally talk to the doctor who said that he wanted me to get some blood work done - a liver panel and another test called the Serum Bile Acid Test.  I was glad that those were the tests he wanted to do because I hadn't mentioned anything I had read, he just went off of my symptoms and we were on the same page.  I got the blood work done on Friday and the SBA test takes several days to get back. So I guess we'll see.

I am feeling like that isn't likely to be the problem because it is pretty uncommon, but whatever this is is not cool.  I am raw from my neck to my fingertips to my toes.  I have scabs everywhere.  I dread the night.  BUT the day does bring some relief, for which I am so thankful. This morning in the shower I had to step out of the water and cry because everything hurt when the water hit me. I am 36 weeks today, so if this isn't anything worrisome and is, in fact, PUPPP related, then I guess I will just have to buck up and deal for another 4 weeks or so.  I know that this will be a distant memory and feel every bit worth it once I have my babe in my arms.  If it is that condition, though, they will want to induce (from what I've read) since it can cause problems for the baby.  Not sure when, but likely soon.  I really do feel like everything will be fine either way.  I am very thankful to live in a time with the medical advances that we enjoy so that I can have that peace.  Except during one of my scratching sessions last night I started to think about how I haven't been feeling this little man move as much the last several days...I do feel him, but he's not as crazy as usual and it's not as often.  I'm probably wrong, but it kept me awake for a long time, pushing on my belly until I finally got him to budge and move a little.  Poor kid. :)

For now I will wear longer sleeves so people don't have to look at my scabby elbows, and nylons to church today for the same scabby reason.  And I will live up the daytime hours before the itch returns with a vengeance at night.  And I'll see my doctor tomorrow for our regular appt.  And we'll finish getting ready for this babe just in case he is coming sooner than later.  Either way, the end IS in sight.  And that end will bring a sweet smelling baby who we already love so much.