Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Home Stretch?

When I ran my marathon, I thought that I would feel like the last 3 or 4 miles were cake. It would mean that I was almost done! Plus 3 or 4 miles was nothing...those were my easy training days. But I was wrong. Those were some of the hardest miles I ran. I got teary-eyed, discouraged, and hit a major wall. Thankfully a good portion of that stretch was kind of downhill and so my body couldn't help but keep moving even though everything was screaming for me to sit down!
The last 3 or 4 miles...the downhill that saved me

That's how I am feeling about these last months of Ty's school. Everyone keeps telling me, "Oh! You're almost done!" (Like the well-meaning lady who said, "Just 6 miles to go!" at mile 20...I'll let you imagine how I felt about that) But I just feel like I want to cry and I feel discouraged. Thankfully I have kids and regularly scheduled activities and a calling in church to keep me moving forward each day.
I didn't know that help was on it's way...

Remember how Tyler joined me the last mile + of my marathon? He was what saved me. He pushed me and believed in me and motivated me to the finish.

I think this is my favorite picture in the history of pictures

We've been running side-by-side this whole time while he's been getting his MBA but sometimes we get separated because there is just too much on our plates that we have to focus on. That's how it feels right now. It feels like we are too far apart. It's nobody's fault, it's life. We are pretty darn good about making time for dates and time to talk, but for some reason I feel like I need a date every other night right now and three-hour meaningful conversations every night, which isn't at all practical or possible, especially since there are essentially three days a week that we see him little or not at all. Maybe it's the winter getting to me (I did, after all, grow up in Vegas and right now in Vegas it's park-going weather). Whatever it is, I'm not loving it and I need to get back on top of my game. I will. I'm just having a moment.
I finished my marathon strong. Tyler left the course for me to finish it out on my own so he could cheer me along from the side as I crossed the finish line. The needed surge came, adrenaline came from somewhere, and I felt so good about my finish. I was elated, actually. I also collapsed into my mom's arms and let out a sob from deep inside me that I didn't even know was there. Like, for a long time. Oh, that finish was so sweet.
I'll finish strong . But for this moment it's hard...and that's okay, it will make the finish that much sweeter. Ty gives me the support I need, but sometimes I need to run on my own too. And the help will come from a known source, my Savior.

4 comments:

Kath said...

You are so very lucky Dana, you have the ability to see the hope and promise ahead. You have a Savior, a husband who is there by your side and a love for life, all the rest is back ground noise. You go girl!!!!

Betsy B. said...

Wow! We need to talk. I have actually been having some strong memories and feelings from Jon's last semester that are really getting to me. Call me soon or I'll call you.

Madsen Family said...

Dana, I believe if anyone can get through this, you will. I just am often so amazed by you and hope you know that from afar, secretly (or not so secretly) I hope that I can be the kind of wife and mother you are. I love how you're such a positive, happy mom and I know you absolutely love what you're doing. But I also love that you keep it real because being a mom of three little kids is hard. Period. Without the stress of a husband in school and with big church callings, etc., etc. So, hang in there (you just have 6 miles left, right?) and know that we're all rooting for you. Good luck!

B Robinson said...

Dang girl, you look good!! You had 3 babies? I am so impressed. You have a lot to be proud of. I am impressed that you are always trying to be better and do better. That takes a lot of work. A lot. Congratulations on your race.

Beth Robinson